Tuesday, March 14, 2006

icantwaittoseeyouagain:

He said “I was pretty much born in an abortion clinic”.
Lines like that are show stoppers.
Imagine records being scratched at parties in the movies.
“I was born in Tampa in may of 82’, they razed the hospital and by January 83’ it was an abortion clinic”.
And this was my introduction to one of my bestfriends.
He’s the gun that didn’t discharge.
He’s The quarters you cant pick up cause they are glued to the ground.
He is a disaster- He’s all the worst parts of the bible, thrown into one.
The disaster sleeps in a bunk less than 3 feet away from me (there are worse things tonight than the bus crashing).
He’s wearing a shirt that says “cowgirls ride better bare back”.
It’s enough to make me laugh, if only because he’s used that as a pick-up line.
The light on my laptop pulses white on black like morse code mayday signals in the dark.
It always wants me.
It always knows what im thinking (so does The disaster).
The disaster is looking in my bunk over the curtains again.
Hes’s always looking for something to ruin.
I close my eyes to fake sleep.
Im not fast enough or he knows me too well.
Right now he is a cycle: scream, laugh and fall over, repeat.
“Networks would pay good money for a reality tv star like you” I say.
(We are the opposite of diamonds in the rough).
Maybe he’ll hyperventilate and pass out.
“pete, you in there?” he shouts in response.
Clearly there isn’t an iq equvilancy test to be my friend.
I tell him, “gimme your moms number. You know its not too late for her to have an abortion”.
“alright, lets go eat”- he spits as he stumbles towards the bathroom.
He’s either too drunk or not drunk enough.
I couldn’t make up a kid like this.
Our lives as a greek tragedy. Every single fucking character you get attatched to dies at the end.
The bus crawls into texas.
But it doesn’t matter. All the skylines look the same now.
Everywhere is- not home.
But we still live the lives you always dreamed of.
We don’t pay covers.
We sleep through the days.
I mostly think of vampires.
Not quite. But they are the closest I can come.
They gotta know something about the way we don’t go to sleep until the sun comes up. Or maybe something about the marks she’s been leaving on my neck.
Yawn.
Squint.
Dark glasses.
I hate the way the sun looks at me. Like it knows everything ive been up to.
There is something intensely foreign but at the same time charming about texas.
Put the love on hold. We move slow.
The disaster is wearing a “don’t mess with texas” shirt.
The unOriginal gansta.
The disaster says “im faded, but you should really think this over cause it could take all night”.
But I’m pretty sure he was just faded.
My bunk feels like a coffin tonight. The air feels humid here. It makes it hard to breathe. It makes every pull worth it.
This is the curtain call on desperation.
So come out and take a bow. They’re all throwing roses.
Could we get a brighter light to stage left and maybe a bit more attention.
(I am all the parts of the bullet but the powder).
(I am diamonds into coal).
Fuck your low carbs.
Fuck your atkins diet.
Fuck your southbeach diet.
Nothing keeps the weight off like depression.
My friends all wonder about my abs- it’s a serious regiment of like a month of sitting alone, waiting for phone calls that never come.
Sometimes I feel like the fucking pied piper.
The tinted glass is like a two way mirror.
This is so voyeuristic it hurts.
(I never meant to be like this).
What we’d all do for alittle attention.
Its like the pied piper-
But I am following the light down a vermin hole.
You probably shouldn’t come after me.
It’s like the pied piper-
Only it’s a little bit more like a cult.
And I don’t even feel like I am the one behind the wheel anymore.
I look up at the light shining through the curtains.
The disaster is on to another bunk.
Hes got me smiling.

- petey

Friday, February 24, 2006

hold me when i'm scared
love me when i'm gone
everything i am
and everything in me
wants to be the one you wanted me to be
i'll never let you down
even if i could
i'd give up everything
if only for your good
so hold me when i'm here
right me when i'm wrong
you won't always be there
so love me when i'm gone
a hundred days have made me older
since the last time that i saw your pretty face
a thousand lies have made me colder
and i don't think i can look at this the same
and all the miles the separate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face
i'm here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
and tonight
its only you and me